Humor me.

So, I was having a random thought, per usual. And I came down a few pretty outlandish things, that I thought were a bit giggly.

Ok, you have too just entertain the idea of Aliens' existence while reading this, and frankly too actually believe withing endless space that we are the only lifeforms would just be ignorant anyway. Now, in my brainstorm i was thinking of an encounter, ya know "Independence Day" "Signs" situations like that, but hopefully without the violent destruction of mankind, etc.

I am proposing that if Aliens are watching us right now, even when you're reading this, naked on your bed with Dirty Jobs on the TV, that they are probably planning us out, mapping our habits, best place too enter, right? That's what I would do, and THAT'S where this takes a spiral in a different direction. If I was an alien, withOUT violent intentions I would want too make my encounter as friendly as possible, shake hands, slap an ass, kiss a baby or two, maybe kidnap some crooked senators, ya know, stir shit up a bit so people would know I mean well.

But if you take yourself out of your human shoes for a second, you'd realize a few things. America is obviously the dominant country, lets assume they'd stop here first. And if they did, in order too assimilate better into our society, theyd have too be "down" with our trends, habits, entertainment and ways of living our boring ass lives. And there is one thing that takes the cake on what America loves more than anything, Porn.

That's right. Good old fashioned fucking. And im sure at first it would create confusion among the alien race like "wtf they like to watch each other mate? Do they watch other animals mate..?" "....they WHAT?! They ssometimes mate WITH the animals! oh holy fuck we gotta get down there!" In my professional opinion (ha) I believe that in order to please us, when they see the amount of porn we watch, the money we spend on it, the over half of all internet sites being porn, that they would come down here, get 2 of their best looking specimen and start fuckin' right in front of the crowd of people.

Now, here's where most people start thinking "Oh man that's gross..." Waah wahh. BUT, you know, and I know that no matter how fucked up it is (remember 2 girls 1 one cup? Yeah, thought so) that Americans will WATCH it! I guarantee that within a day there'd be college kids like "Dude did you see the Aliens fucking last night!?" "NO! I wanna see! Holy shit it's got 68 million views already!?"

That about wraps up my rant, unless you want too see nasty alien vagina, i suggest we stop watching so much porn as a whole and do something better, like play scrabble or build tricycles for small children.

Peace on Earth, Fuckers.