So, I moved to Alabama from Nampa, Idaho for those of you who are not or were not aware. Had a U-haul rental, and a dog for 2,061 miles and 3 days of driving. It was quite the adventure, I will say that. And I can now easily rule out quite a few states I know for a fact I never want too live in. Pretty much any state Southeast of the Snake River. I mean...Nebraska?! Really? I drove in a straight line from the west end of the state to the east, I could see Missouri the whole time, I never even turned that whole part of the drive, as far as your eyes can see...pure nothingness. No trees, no rocks, nothing. I made it to Memphis, TN on the final day, at about 10 30pm...lost. THAT was awesome, young white kid driving around in a U Haul completely unaware for about 4 miles that I was in THE hood. I turned that truck around so fast we about tipped and my dog probably peed. Memphis is filthy, just saying. I drove all through that city and it LOOKED miserable, I can't even imagine what'd be like to live there. That experience unknowlingly formed my opinion on the South. I got to Birmingham, AL unloaded the next day, settled in....and met my neighbors. Now, I do live about 30mins outside of B-Ham, in the sticks, so yes, my neighbors are....interesting to say the least. But I dont think from my experiences so far with people who live in the city that they are very much different. They are probably related anyhow (ha). One that lives up the road has a mid 90's Camaro, with about a 3 foot lift on it, and 44" Mickey Thompsons. Yee-haw. "hell yeah, i built it all myself" he tells me one day. I couldn't even muster a response, he had penetrated my IQ and all I could think was "Junior, I Love You! Go 'round dat circle one mo' time fer me! Hur Hur! Mmm Budweiser!" And here's the Kicker, his last name is Jolly. Jolly...
Everything here is different. Everything. Food, Music, Culture, Attitudes, IQ, Number of teeth per person, amount of shirtless people, so on and so forth. Not a day goes by that I dont see something that makes me stare in sheer amazement at someone or something that stems completely from the South. Things you would only dream about seeing for laughter in the NW. Like the weather for example, last winter it snowed here (yes, it snows. but its more like a light rain mist in comparison to where im from) and the forecast called for 1/4" <---One...Quarter...Inch AND THEY SHUT DOWN THE ROADS!!! !?!?!? AND the airport. Are you serious? Jesus, everyone gtfo! That god damn blizzard is coming! Get your house off the wheels and grab the duck tape! its gonna be a doozy! And the speech....oh my. where to begin? I can't barely understand anything, anyone says, at any given time. but of course everyone around me can understand every slewed, chewed, and spit out word. I have a very hard time even keeping a straight face talking to some, but there is also a good majority of people who don't have a thick as molasses accent, those people i get along with better, even if they do think dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago (Sarah palin that's your queue, come on down!)
The Food. Is Amazing. That's probably the best Pro I can manage right now, I'm sure theres more too come. But every BBQ smothered meat product here will knock your dick in the dirt. It is incredible. People are so, so passionate about "the way its' done" down here. You will see grown men with tears in their eyes if they get the just right smoke on a pork roast, or that just perfect biscuit n cheese. There's another fad down here about food I was unaware of, Wings N' Waffles. Yeah, process that, it's ok. Waffle House serves them, as do other types of that genre. Very Weird. Haven't tried it yet, but I cant so i dont like it, till i try it (thanks mom). When I leave, I will miss the Southern Food. Very much.
The Hospitality. not really much to say here, other than even my gnarliest neighbors would give me the shirt off their back at any given time, even first meeting them. Super nice, super friendly, most are poor, or well on their way and they'd still bend over backwards to help someone else out. I like that. Helping your fellow man, just because they can. Thats something us Northerners should mold ourselves into. It's all too often you walk into a grocery store, down the street, into a bar, and everyone just keeps too themselves. Not down here by golly, you cant do anything without stopping and talking to someone about God knows what for 15-20mins. Most of the time the conversations will lower your IQ, but its always an experience, and always fun too look back and laugh on later.
more soon, promise. fingers are getting tired, and I've got Netflix too watch.
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