The powerful Red

Roses. Everyone has gotten, bought, and given them at some point in their life. They're pretty, fluffy, smelly, and make people sneeze. They also make glass companies rich, "Hot diggity I got some roses!...oh fuck I don't have a vase..$$$"

Now I'm sure there is some historical spark as too when giving roses became fashionable, trendy, and meant passion. But I'm not interested in finding out why, that would ruin any skewed thought I have on the matter. Instead, I'm going too ask....why? Whether you know the true meaning or not, why give them?

Let's break down the general reasons for roses.

1. "Baby, I fucked that waitress from Olive Garden two weeks ago, and I'm really sorry. She told me my gout, and aggressive back hair was a turn on, here's some roses, let's have make up sex" Now, I know girls have been indoctrinated to appreciate and love flowers, but why? They don't mean anything, sure they are pretty, but they die faster than your next argument starts. I mean, when did roses cure your husbands syphilis?

2."Hey man! So glad too see you lying there in that breezy hospital gown, now I know you're probably still pissed I ran you over with the Backhoe, but don't worry man, I brought a miracle cure for your paralysis! Roses, bro! I know you won't be able to pick them up and smell them, but you can stare at them all day, until they wither and die, which is what you're doing. So really it's a biological montage to your demise." Don't ever bring me flowers if I'm in the hospital, give me something decent too stare at. Get me a hooker or something.

3. Any type of performance, act, good deed, speech, yada yada. People bring flowers...because apparently "Hey fuck yeah that was GREAT!!!!" just doesn't do justice. "Here, smell and stare at these, THAT'S how good I thought that was"    .....?

4. Last but not least, I know you've been waiting for it. Graves. Really? You go spend $20 of your hard earned money on some plant that isn't going too live more than 4 days, you set in on the grass, say a prayer and speak too a stone, and then not even 6 hours later, guess who comes by? The groundskeeper. And what does he do? Well of course! He takes them all home and spreads the Rose love throughout the neighborhood. No, he chops them up with his mower, and runs them over and throws them away, so really it was an absolute waste of your money, when you could've easily portrayed your thoughts vocally and saved your money too have some depressive drinks later at the bar.

Roses are meaningless.